Grief is a swirling storm of emotions that can catch you off guard at any moment. After losing someone I grew up with and cherished, expected to have in my life for decades to come, I became engulfed in sadness, confusion, and longing. I realized that to navigate through this overwhelming, squashing pain, I needed something stable to hold onto—a routine that could serve as my anchor in the chaos and moments of deep despair. This new focus led me to create a daily grief support routine that transformed my life and grief journey.
Understanding My Grief
When I first confronted grief, I was unprepared for the roller coaster of emotions that followed. Some days were filled with a heavy sadness, while others brought anger or guilt, and I felt lost just trying to figure it all out. Some days were filled with questions of why him, why now, and why not me.
Through reflection, I discovered that grief does not follow a straight path; it feels more like crashing waves as I bobbed up in down trying to stay afloat. Acknowledging my emotions became crucial, rather than suppressing them. Establishing a structured routine helped me channel my feelings, allowing me to confront them instead of hiding away.
The Importance of a Routine
As I navigated the complexities of my grief, I recognized how crucial a routine could be. Having stability gave me a sense of normalcy and created a safe space for processing my emotions. It wasn’t about avoiding feelings; rather, it involved integrating them into my everyday life.
My routine became a guiding compass through the highs and lows of grieving. It provided me with purpose and meaningful ways to honor my loved one, such as lighting a candle in their memory or reflecting on shared moments that brought joy. Journaling and deep breathing were also imperative to my journey.
My Grief Support Routine
I designed my grief support routine by incorporating activities that brought me comfort and resonance. Here are the key components of my daily practices:
Morning Rituals
Each morning, I carved out time for self-reflection. I would wake up just 5 minutes earlier, prepare my favorite warm drink - sometimes coffee, other times tea, or on the hardest days, hot chocolate, and sit quietly in my living room. During this time, I invested a few minutes in meditation, allowing my thoughts to settle.
These peaceful moments grounded me for the day ahead. Often, I thought fondly of my loved one, recalling treasured memories and their valuable lessons. This ritual helped me keep their spirit alive while preparing my mind and heart for whatever lay ahead. Sometimes I looked at pictures, listened to old voicemails to hear his voice, or journaled a funny memory I had with him.
Writing My Feelings
Post-meditation, I had a simple yet profound tool at my disposal: a journal dedicated to my grief journey. Mine was a plain, black, college ruled composition notebook, similar to one I would have found in his desk. For others, this could be a great way to incorporate their style or preference into your memory journal. Each day, I would write down a few sentences expressing my emotions or sharing memories that surfaced.
This act of writing became a powerful release, allowing me to articulate my feelings without judgment. When my pen flowed across the page, it felt like I was unburdening my heart, which lightened my emotional load more than I imagined it could. Expressive writing can reduce stress and enhance emotional well-being, adding an evidence-based layer to this practice.
Connecting with Nature
In the warm summer afternoons, I dedicated time to connect with nature. I began taking short walks around my neighborhood or visiting local parks. Just a 10-15 minute walk not only introduced me to the beauty of my surroundings but also served as introspection during my grief.
Each walk turned into a gentle meditation. I would think of my loved one, sharing my thoughts or simply enjoying the fresh air. Nature’s beauty reminded me of life’s cycles, helping me find peace in the present.

Engaging with Others
Although solitude was comforting, I also recognized the healing power of connection. I made it a point to reach out to friends and family who understood my journey.
Setting aside time each week for a coffee chat with a friend or a simple phone call to my grandma lifted my spirits and shifted my focus. These conversations often became open discussions about our shared experiences of loss and life that had been lived, offering support to one another.
Creative Expression
To further celebrate the memory of my loved one, I incorporated creative expression into my routine. I explored different crafts, like painting and photography, depending on how I felt that day. Engaging in these activities allowed me to channel my emotions into something tangible, things to put on the wall as a reminder.
Every brushstroke or photograph captured a piece of my grief while honoring joyful moments. Creativity offered me a safe outlet for feelings that were challenging to articulate in just words alone. Getting lost in the colors and music that was playing felt like an escape in the healthiest way.
Evening Reflections
At the end of each day, I established a calming ritual of reflection. With a small snack at my side, I would jot down the highlights of my day in my journal. This could be as simple as watching sunset or enjoying a laugh with a friend.
This practice of evening reflection nudged me toward gratitude. It taught me to celebrate the little moments of joy, which often felt overshadowed by my grief.
Finding Comfort in My Routine
As I immersed myself in my daily grief support routine, I found comfort in places I once thought were lost to despair. While the pain did not vanish, I discovered effective tools to help me navigate through my grief.
Throughout this journey, I learned how essential it is to honor both the good days and the bad ones. I became gentler with myself, realizing that healing is not linear and is profoundly personal.
What I Would Do Differently if I was Starting my Grief Journey Now
If I were starting my grief journey right now, this is the advice I would like. Find your rhythm. If you hate journaling? Skip it. Substitute something in that you like better. Maybe for you, it feels right to talk to your loved one, telling them about your day, your worries, your gratitude. Keeping a line of communication with your loved one can allow you to feel a connection similar to what you are missing. Maybe you you'd rather write poetry, rather than keep a journal. Or, maybe you'd rather start a gratitude journal in addition to your routine. Just because something worked for me, or for someone in your circle, doesn't me it will feel right to you.
Just because you start a routine, doesn't mean you need to keep it up. If you start a routine, and realize a few weeks into it that it doesn't bring you any peace, change it up a little to find something that resonates with you more.
As hard as it is, try to quiet the outside noise. That is much easier said than done. Family dynamics, daily life expectations, judgmental looks and comments from others, lack of closure, and so much more can play a huge part into the outside noise and challenges. Finding a quiet ritual or groove in your routine that feels right to you and allows you time to embrace your grief can allow a clearer headspace for the rest of your day.
Embracing the Journey Forward
Creating a daily grief support routine has been my lifeline. It’s a blend of reflection, connection, and creativity that allows me to cherish my loved one’s memory while nurturing my healing process.
If you are navigating your own grief, I invite you to establish a rhythm in your life that resonates with you. Whether journaling, exploring nature, or reaching out to loved ones, give yourself the freedom to discover what brings you comfort.
Grief is a journey we each experience differently, but we don't need to walk it alone. Every small step forward can guide us toward healing, allowing us to treasure precious memories while discovering new moments of joy. However you proceed, your grief is not forgotten.
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