Real Comfort

What’s something someone said or did that brought you real comfort while you were grieving?

For me, one of the best things that was offered to me was a day off of work, offered without judgment or question. A quick phone call to my boss to share the horrible news of my loss looked a little like this:

Pacing outside in the driveway, dusty, sharp stones shooting short pain into my bare feet with every step, I dialed my bosses number and waited. Waited to hear what unrehearsed words would tumble out of my mouth, being the first time I "admitted" out loud that my favorite person died. The words jumbled out, the lump in my throat growing with each word, my mouth getting drier and drier as I paced, and then I listened. I listened to the gentle voice telling me my coworkers would band together, that they were already working to pick up the slack. The distant relief washed over me as I listened to the plans of people from all different departments coming together to aid in my bereavement time, allowing me to take a few days off for a funeral and memorial service.

Those words, "Take your time, we've got it covered for you. Focus on your family, on your needs, and please, take care of yourself, we want you to do what you need to do. Work will be here when you're ready."

Those three short sentences were the biggest words of relief and real comfort I could have heard in that moment. That phone call, only 2 minutes and 14 seconds long, was all I needed to hear to know how supported, loved, and cared for that I was.

That was the best thing I could have heard. I didn't see groups of people knocking on my door, no one was bringing me meals, no one was showing up to sit and listen. Why? The people that cared most and showed up for me the most were showing up on the scenes of my responsibilities. While they weren't showing up in front of me, they were showing up for me. Taking my shifts, filling the gaps, carrying the heavy load on the front lines of work. That lifted a weight I'm not sure I would have been able to carry.

Whether it was a simple message, a lightened load of responsibility, a quiet presence, or a small act of kindness—sometimes the little things make the biggest difference. I'd love to hear what helped you. Your grief is not forgotten here.

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