Caregiver Grief

Whether it was your parent you cared for in their final days, or you're a nurse or caregiver who spent hours and hours growing close to your patient, the loss of someone who spend time caring for carves deep into your heart.

Caregiver grief is often overlooked, though it is an incredibly impactful loss that is experienced. You've spent days managing medications, preparing and/or feeding meals, participating in endless of conversations - both serious and lighthearted, juggling schedules, losing sleep, worrying, and earning trust and friendship.

When you take a step back, you'll realize that is a huge part of your life. Of course it hurts and fills you with grief, loss, and disbelief as you reflect on all that was lost. Whether you cared for them for weeks, months, or years, you spent hours building a bond and connection. If you were related, you also have the layer of grieving your parents, role model, or loved one, on top of grieving as a caregiver. That is a lot to navigate and process, no matter when or how you begin to justify it. This might be the loss of the routine, their personality, their bits of wisdom or humor sprinkled in each day, or even your sense of purpose as you looked after and cared for their every need.

If you're doubting your loss because they were "just a patient" or "not the first loss and won't be the last loss" you experience, know that your loss is valid. Your loss is valid whether it's the first or tenth you've experienced. Your loss is valid whether you knew them for 6 weeks or 6 years. Your loss is valid even if you feel relieved knowing they aren't suffering anymore. Your loss is valid even if you weren't related or connected closely in a social circle.

As you hold space for them, remember to hold space for yourself. Give yourself grace as you navigate this loss. If you're a caregiver and have more patients to care for, remember to practice self care as you grieve this loss while caring for others. It can be easy to get caught up in the current caregiving, and not properly process the loss you've experienced. Grieving the loss as a caregiver can bring difficult days, but your grief, hard work, and lifesaving measures will never be forgotten.

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