Their Untouched Things

What About Their Untouched Things After a Loved One Dies

The half finished woodworking project left in his workshop, waiting to be worked on.

The half written book, waiting to be finished.

The jigsaw puzzle pieces scattered, waiting to be fit together.

The crossword book, pages waiting to be filled.

The basket of toys waiting to be played with.

The dollhouse, waiting for the dolls to be waved around in imaginative play.

When someone we love passes away, it's not just their physical presence we miss, but also the things they leave unfinished and left behind. Their clothes, their books, their belongings sitting untouched, piercing reminders that they once lived, and left a life to finish. Going through their things can be overwhelming, and uncertain. It may feel like going through their things brings a sense of finality, and leave a wondering feeling of what to do with their things.

First, know that there is no rush, outside of what feels right. Grieving take time, and deciding what to do with their possessions is a personal choice and experience. Starting small can minimize the intensity and stress that can come with boxing up an entire life in a short time, or giving away something you may later regret. Focusing your energy on something that you know hold sentimental value can be a good way to tip toe into this task, with low stakes. If you know something is sentimental or important to you, you'll likely already know what you want to do with that item.

You may find comfort in keeping their clothing, a photo album, a perfume or cologne they always wore, or objects that allow you to hold their memory close. As you become ready, donating or sharing items with other loved ones can be another journey to work through as you decide what is best for the other things. Preserving specific items like a wedding dress, sports jersey, or other items can be a great way to keep those memories safe, and something to pass along to future generations to honor their legacy.

For their untouched things, it may be healing to pass the half finished projects on to someone who can complete them. Finding someone who is able to finish restoring their hobby truck, hiring someone to finish the half finished wooden bench they were creating, or finishing their scrapbook project yourself may bring a sense of closure and memorial to their passions or things they cared deeply about.

Children's toys may be placed delicately on a shelf to honor a memory of playtime once loved, playdoh creations left out to dry, and Lego creations saved, as a permanent picture of creativity. As you honor your child's life, you may donate some of their less sentimental toys to a daycare or local charity to give the toys another chance to be played with and loved. This decision may take time, and it's okay if your playroom sits untouched for the time that you need to process and heal. Hanging the macaroni art projects and back to school pictures can be a good way to invite the love and memories into your home without feeling the overwhelming clutter of toys that will go untouched. Creating a memorial area can be a great way to give purpose to their favorite stuffed animals, the baby blanket that was dragged everywhere, and the passions that their little personalities hold.

Remember, it’s okay to leave things as they are for a while. You don’t have to make decisions immediately. Each item holds a part of your loved one’s story, and when the time is right, you’ll know what feels right for you. The memories they left behind aren’t bound to objects—they live in your heart and in the moments you shared.

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