Grief, though often thought of as the death of a loved one, is a much broader topic than we often realize. Grief is not strictly just defined by death, but rather can also present itself in significant changes and transitions. Recognizing and understanding these things can help us to name and process our emotions in deeper and healthier ways.
The clear form of Grief: The Loss of a Loved One
This is the most commonly thought of in forms of grief. Losing someone close to us, either from death or becoming estranged, can create a deep emotional response. This situation brings about grief that can be overwhelming, cluttered with waves of sadness, isolation, loneliness, guilt, and despair. This can be devastating, no matter what place that person held in your life – caregiver, parent, sibling, grandparent, spouse, significant other, friend, mentor, coworker, or child. It often isn’t the title of the relationship that makes the loss hurt more, but rather the loss of that physical connection and bond we shared with our person.
The Loss of Pregnancy
While this is closely connected to traditional form of grief in the loss of a loved one, the loss felt within miscarriage or infant loss has its own sorrow. Grieving this loss includes the loss of dreams of growing a bigger family, the loss of watching siblings grow up together, the loss of the firsts experienced with your baby. This can create a new layer of anxieties, longing, and what ifs that swirl through the depths of our grief.
Ending a Relationship
Ending a relationship can be just as painful as losing someone through death or estrangement. This could be a romantic partner, a friendship, or a family connection, brought about by a variety of different ways. Whether it’s through a breakup or divorce, growing up and growing apart, or extreme differences, the end of a relationship can produce these similar feelings of grief. It’s a difficult time to accept the loss of a companionship, shared goals, future plans, and connection.
The Loss of Health or Wellness
When our health declines, we face an extended or chronic illness, or our physical abilities diminish, it can stir up feelings of grief. Losing physical capabilities, our independence, or a sense of who we are based on our health can land us in a state of mourning as we cope and adjust to a new sense of normal.
Loss of a Job
The loss of a job or career path is often tied to more than just our financial security. The workplace is often where we find a sense of purpose, character, and brings a sense of achievement and accountability. Losing a job – whether due to layoffs, retirement, health, or otherwise, can trigger grief for the dreams and lifestyles that we can grown in, that might no longer be possible.
The Loss of a Pet
Pets can often become a part of the family, and their passing can create a deep sense of loss as another form of grief. While some people dismiss or diminish this type of loss, the reality of grief and loss can resonate all the same. Our pets can create a sense of purpose and companionship and the loss of this consistent personality in our lives can be just as intense as other forms of loss.
The Loss of Safety
The loss of our safety – physically or otherwise – can shake our feelings of security. This can be through a natural disaster, an accident, or trauma that impacts us personally, and can cause anxiety and grief as we try to rebuild ourselves and the world around us. Struggling to feel a sense of control and stability can impact us on a day to day basis and bring about similar feelings of grief to battle through.
Loss of Identity
Life changes can impact the way we view ourselves, and shake up how we carry ourselves. Through aging, becoming a parent, changing beliefs of values, or redefining our roles, our sense of who we are changes and can provoke a feeling of grief as we navigate our new sense of self.
No matter the form of loss, it is a natural reaction to life events and changes. The feelings we hold can impact us deeply, and add barriers to our daily life. Realizing that grief can come from many spaces can allow us to evaluate our new realities, and find new avenues to our healing. No matter what you’re grieving, or what stage you’re grieving in, you’re welcome here, you’re safe here, and your grief is not forgotten.
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