Filling the stockings. Getting a tree. Setting out home decorations. Putting up yard lights and decorations. Collecting gifts for friends, family, coworkers, bosses, neighbors, teachers. The big holiday meals. Helping with the school parties. Preparing for the work parties. Attending the neighborhood parties.
While some of these tasks can be small and fun and help put us in the holiday spirit, it can also daunting to cover all these tasks in just a few short weeks or days. Cutting back on the extravagant extras can allow us to focus on the aspects that we truly enjoy and find most valuable to us.
Maybe this year you have the extra weight of grief on your plate. Whether a recent loss or one that still aches in your heart from long ago, there is another level of holiday pressure when juggling the feelings of loss and change.
One thing that can help lessen the load is by picking and choosing what feels right to you this year. Make a list of all the things you normally do to prepare for the holiday season.
Include all the details – going to the grocery store to cook a big meal for the family gathering, cleaning the house for the family get together, buying the presents for all the loved ones (and also wrapping them!), digging through the boxes of decorations to find the ones you want to put up, etc.
Once you’ve made that list, you’ll have more of a tangible idea of what you normally accomplish. Now, go through that list and decide which items on it can be skipped this year. Maybe you decide you absolutely must get gifts for your family, but you change the holiday meal from a four-course meal to ordering take out or finding a caterer. Maybe you decide your inside decorations are important, but that you don’t need to put your big blow-up decorations outside this year. Whatever it is for you, keep it simple! Creating new traditions and skipping the ones that feel like a hassle can reframe what it important to you during this holiday season.
Remember, just because you do it differently this year, does not mean you have to do it this way every year. Meet yourself where you’re at – ask your friends or family for extra help this year, or skip the things that overwhelm you. Grieving and the feelings of loss can add a whole new dimension to your holiday celebrations, and that’s okay. Relying on the simplicity in grief
can allow you to focus more on what matters most to you!
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