Leafy Grief

As you probably know from experience, going through grief is often one of the most isolating, lonely experiences we can have. But, on the flipside, finding the right people or places to put your trust, energy, and healing into can be just as overwhelming as the feeling of loss.

Many people will have opinions, nosy questions, and judgements to share with you about your grief, the loss you've experienced, and the way you're handling your new reality. There may be groups you've explored, social events you've shied away from, and things that are too daunting to discover in your newfound grief.

Options that Might Work

Maybe you've tried support groups and didn't click with the members or their beliefs. Maybe your friends have distanced themselves as they feel awkward as they tiptoe around your grief. Maybe you thought you were close with some friends or coworkers that let their true colors show with the questions they asked or the way they showed up (or didn't show up) for you in your loss. Whatever the case is for you, there are many reasons the support circles dwindle or shift in the eyes of grief.

An alternative to this support can be found in a few ways. There is always the route of therapy or professional help, but that can be limited due to location, insurance, schedule availability, access to childcare, and budget.

Adopting a pet may be a great solution for some, but can also be challenging in regards to scheduling, taking on such a big new responsibility, financial requirements, and household accommodations. Finding a local animal shelter to volunteer at could be a great outlet and sense of connection, as you long for the unconditional love an animal has to give.

What is left that might bring a sense of new life, care for life, and renewal?

Plants.

Whether you've never grown or cared for a plant in your life, or you've successfully created your own personal botanical garden for years, there is hope for you in this venture.

If your green thumb never arrived, don't worry. There are still options for bringing life into your home or work space to brighten things up and renew a sense of life and hope. Succulents, air plants, or a snake plant could be great places to start. They require little care, can brighten up a dull room, or give you something to watch make progress. If you're worried about sunlight or temperature, there are tons of different varieties of plants to fit your needs, or inexpensive tools like glow lights that can help.

Stress Relief and New Life

Adding a plant (or many!) to a room can help to reduce stress, as you are more connected to nature. Having low maintenance plants in the area can add value to your routine as you work to incorporate new, healthy coping techniques in your schedule. Seeing new leaves, little sprouts, or flower buds getting ready to bloom can be a beautiful representation of new life in a time of loss. After spending weeks and months in your grief and impacted by death, it can be incredibly refreshing to see new life forming. Taking care of the plants can bring a sense of accomplishment or purpose in ways you might not expect.

Similarly, gardening can have a great influence on healing. Watching new life sprout from the work of your own hands and growing produce or plants until harvest or blooming can bring a feeling of accomplishment. While this is more involved and requires more care and work, there are benefits for your physical and mental health that can come from this work. You'll know when you're ready to take on a bigger project like this when you have a bit of time or energy to put into it.

Memorial Plants

You may have even been gifted a plant in the beginning of your grief journey through a peace lily or plant gifted at the time of a funeral or memorial service. These can be nice memorial moments to honor and remember your loved one as you continue to care for the plant that was gifted during that time. You might also have been gifted or consider having a memorial tree to watch grow and care for after this loss. Having a specific spot or tree in nature that you can visit can bring a sense of comfort and calm as you create intentional space for honoring your loved one.

Leafy Grief

Whichever option works best for you, know there are many options for 'leafy grief'. This longing for unconditional love, a sense of new life in the deep despair of grief and loss, and having something to care for are all natural in this stage of grief and healing.

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