Grief Does Not RSVP
- Forget Me Not Notes
- Jun 21
- 2 min read
Grief doesn’t knock before it comes in. It doesn’t text you first with an ETA. Grief does not RSVP to the emotional chaos we sometimes expect or find ourselves in. It just shows up—sudden, uninvited, unpredictably, and utterly unapologetic.
Sometimes, we think we’ve moved on. We've 'gotten better' and rebuilt. We’ve done the crying, the remembering, maybe even the “celebration of life.” We expect grief to follow a schedule—come when called, leave when dismissed, stay away when we prefer. But grief isn’t that polite. It’s not here to attend your schedule and needs - it's here on its own terms.
So how do you manage this unpredictable visitor?
Acknowledge its Presence Just because grief came late—or early, or out of nowhere—doesn't mean it’s invalid or wrong. Don’t judge the timing. Say, “Oh, hey, there you are.” Naming it gives it less power, and feels like it takes less away from you.
Make Space for It You don’t need to cancel your day. But maybe you give yourself 10 minutes in the car, a quiet walk, a scribbled journal page. Grief doesn’t need a banquet or a parade—just a chair at the table or a moment of silence.
Stay Honest With Yourself You don’t have to turn every pang into a dramatic moment, but you do need to be real about what you feel. Grief that’s stuffed down only grows heavier. It's okay if you feel like you are being dramatic. You're simply feeling what you feel. Make space for that, without trying to stuff it down.
Let It Be Messy There’s no formula for when it hits. It might crash a grocery trip, hijack a song on the radio, or tiptoe into your dreams. Let it be weird. Let it be what it is. We cannot choose it, but we can choose how much we let it impact our day and energy.
Connect With People Who Get It Not everyone will, and some may pass judgment without understanding. But someone does understand what it's like when grief does not RSVP. Seek them out. Even one person who won’t flinch when you say, “I thought I was done crying, but here I am again.”
Grief isn’t an event. It’s a companion, a new in and out reality. Not always welcome, but not always the enemy either. When grief does not RSVP, meet it anyway—with compassion, boundaries, and a little grace for yourself. As you hold space for your grief, we also hold space for you. Your grief is not forgotten here.
Comments