“They tell you to be grateful for what you have, but you are also allowed to be sad for what you have lost.” ~ Sabina Laura
The start of the holiday season might be different this year. If you’re seeing this, you’re probably experiencing grief, or know someone in your life who is. Perhaps you’ve recently lost a loved one, are grieving the loss of a life you once imagined, or are still struggling on your grief journey from long ago. Regardless of your situation, it’s important to remember you’re allowed to feel any feelings you have.
This quote is one that seems so relevant to the day. The idea that today, whether you’re celebrating Thanksgiving or not, you can still feel grateful for what you do have. The clothes on your back, roof over your head, the food and water you have to drink, the love and support you’ve experienced, the list goes on and on. BUT, you’re also allowed to be sad and feel the feelings you are experiencing at the moment. Feel the feelings of sadness, loneliness, hopelessness, or emptiness. The feelings of loss, isolation, and missing your person or the life you dreamed to have. We live in a complex world, where grief and gratitude can coexist.
This holiday may look different. Maybe you’ve lost the person that always brought the green been casserole and honor them through another dish. Maybe the person you watch the football games with won’t be there this year to cheer with you. Maybe, an empty chair at the table will be a painful reminder of who isn’t there to share a meal and the laughs. The day may be overwhelming. It might feel empty. But, it can also present an opportunity to remember and honor your loved one.
Through the loss we feel, we gain the opportunities to make new traditions and draw closer to the loved ones we have with us. Reach out to the loved ones you can trust and lean on for support. If you’re going to someone else’s home, have a plan for if you feel overwhelmed – a quiet room to decompress in for a moment, a trusted person to go for a walk with if you need a break, or having a way to leave if you need to leave early. You know what’s best for you.
However you celebrate or do not celebrate this year, there is no wrong way to do it. Take the pictures, play the games, feel your feelings. You’re allowed to be thankful and grateful, while also being sad for what you’ve lost. You're not alone in this journey, where grief and gratitude can coexist.
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