Finding Yourself after Grief

Finding Yourself After Grief: A Journey of Healing

Grief is a powerful, transformative, life changing experience that shakes us to our core. You might be left feeling confused, lonely, sad, or even depressed. Whether from the death of a loved one, a lose of a relationship, or an to a chapter of life, it can feel as if the world around us has changed forever - and in some ways, it has. In the midst of such pain, it’s common to feel lost, unsure of who we are or where we’re headed next on our journey.

Over time, grief also offers an opportunity for profound growth and even healing. As you navigate through the sadness, confusion, and anger, you may start to rediscover parts of yourself that were hidden, changed, or suppressed. Healing isn't about "getting over" the loss but about learning how to live with it and embracing the changes it brings. Often we don't move on, but we work to move forward.

Here are a few ways to begin the journey of finding yourself after grief or loss:

1. Allow Yourself to Feel and Cope: Grief is not a linear path, but rather filled with ups and downs, both good and difficult moments. Emotions ebb and flow, and it’s important to let them. There’s no “right” way to grieve. Whether it’s through tears, laughter, or silence, each emotion is a step toward healing.

   
   

2. Create Space for Self-Reflection: In the quiet moments, take time to reflect on who you are now. What have you learned from your loss? What about you has changed - your interests, your morals, your routines? What values, strengths, or passions have emerged? This is the time to reawaken your inner self and listen to what your heart needs. It can be difficult to tune out the noise and chaos around you, so it's important to do your best with where you are, as this will be an ongoing process, and may change several times throughout the journey.

   
   

3. Seek Support: Surround yourself with people who understand your journey. You may feel like you've lost yourself. Often, we put our worth, sense of self, or identify in our titles, relationships, and careers. A title change, a relationship status change, or major life change can throw us into a spiral as we are now left to wonder, "Without (insert your specific loss here), who even am I??" Whether through friends, family, or support groups, talking about your grief can lighten the load and support you as you sort out the answers. You don’t have to do it alone.

   Finding a quiet way to process at your own pace can be imperative to feeling comfortable in your journey. Connecting with music, reading quotes, journaling, or reading can be great ways to recognize your feelings and find support outside of your circle. Learn more about the Forget Me Not Notes resource here.

   
   

4. Take Small Steps: The hope filled news is you don’t need to have everything figured out. Start with small, gentle steps toward rediscovering activities or hobbies that once brought you joy. You can find purpose in new activities or projects, but that might take energy you need to work up to. Starting with something familiar and comfortable can be key to getting back to feeling like yourself. Rebuilding takes time, but each step forward is progress. This won't be an overnight change. It may be just a few minutes or hours a week of activities that make you feel like you again, but progress brings a sense of power and autonomy you might feel you're missing.

   

   
   

   Maybe you revisit the coffee shop where you used to be a regular, create a new piece of decor, revamp your garden, get back to writing the poems you once loved to create, dive back into yoga, dig our your favorite pastry recipe, or volunteer again with your favorite organization. Remember this can be a slow process, and not to overwhelm yourself overloading too many activities at once. Small steps forward can be a great way to get back to where you hope to be.

   
   

5. Be Patient and Compassionate with Yourself: There will be moments when you feel like you’ve made no progress, but remember—grief is a long process. There will be small steps forward, and huge stumbles backward. Give yourself grace. You’re not the same person you were before the loss, and that's okay. You are becoming a new version of yourself, shaped by the experiences that have touched your heart. Making choices you can be proud of or find solace in will be a great way to bring your sense of self back to the center of who you are.

   
   

Grief is a painful but powerful catalyst for self-discovery. Through the pain, there’s an opportunity to emerge stronger, wiser, and more aligned with your true self. Remember, finding yourself after grief is not about forgetting the past, but about honoring it as you step into the future. As you try new things and reconnect with old hobbies or events, your grief and loss are not forgotten here.

Learn about our grief resource