The day after Thanksgiving, the holiday preparations are starting to creep in – Santa coming to picture stations at the mall, parades filling the streets, Christmas lights being strung, presents being bought, cookies being made - the list goes on.
If you’re missing someone in your life this year, this can bring a new wave of grief to the surface. Perhaps you're feeling the "less" in loss.
One less set of presents under the tree.
One less place setting at the dinner table.
One less helper decorating the tree.
Maybe their favorite Christmas song comes on the radio and triggers a new moment of loss.
Watching their favorite movie might feel less festive.
The feelings might just be less holly and less jolly.
And that’s okay. Feel the feelings. Don’t watch the movie if you can’t do it without them. Most importantly, find a way to honor them. This could be done in a myriad of ways. Find a local charity that they loved to donate to, sponsor a child on an Angel Tree, serve a meal at a shelter, or reach out to someone who needs a little extra this year. Making new traditions can bring a new sense of joy to a time that might be filled with loneliness and longing.
Remember it’s okay to put off Christmas or your respective holiday this year. If you want to skip some of the capitalistic or societal expectations, do what feels right to you. Finding a meaningful, comfortable way to spend your holiday is what counts. These days can feel long and empty, but there are resources to help fill them with love. Advent calendars, a set of Forget Me Not Notes, reconnecting with old friends, finding support groups, seeking professional help, or journaling can be a start of some helpful things to make it through a difficult season.
Whatever stage of grief you are in, lean on the ones you love, reach out when you need extra support, and take it one moment at a time. Your grief is not forgotten, and your journey does not stop here.
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