Entering a new world of grief can be on the most isolating experiences, and often comes by surprise. One minute, you're living life as usual, and the next, you feel a giant, person size hole ripped straight through your heart. What an overwhelming experience, and often done in private. Sometimes, this experience can leave you feeling very unseen in grief. Even though many people are grieving the loss of the same person, it looks differently for everyone. They talk about the stages of grief - denial, bargaining, depression, anger, and acceptance, but often they skip over the moments spent in between.
The days that drag on, where minutes feel like hours, hoping to find an escape or distraction from your thoughts or feelings.
Days spent begging, pleading, wishing it was just a horrible dream you will soon wake up from and go back to your normal life when you still had your person by your side.
Hours spent scrolling through old pictures, wishing they would be smiling right next to you again.
Relistening to old voicemails over and over, just to hear their voice again.
Dialing the phone to ask them a question, only to realize they won't be answering anymore.
Crying so many tears you can't imagine you have any left inside to cry, but somehow they keep flowing.
The list of "firsts" that reopen the wound of the loss, somehow bigger and bigger with each "first" milestone they're missing.
The sleepless, restless nights spent tossing and turning, caught in between exhaustion and adrenaline.
The mornings waking up after a dream where your loved one was there, only to realize it was a dream and they're still gone.
The days you forget to eat, drink water, or meet your own basic needs, as you're so consumed with the feelings of loneliness and loss.
The days you spend all your energy on holding yourself together so no one worries.
The repetitive questions "how did this happen," or "it's not fair, why them, why now?"
These moments are painful, and each are all so personal, all being so different from person to person. If you're having one of those minutes, days, or weeks, call a friend, get cozy with a good book or comfort movie, journal, go for a walk, and most importantly, remember to hold space for yourself. Your grief is not forgotten or misunderstood here ♥
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