Cleaning in Grief

Take a quick look around the room. Is the night stand covered in water bottles, used tissues, empty wrappers, or clutter? Is the kitchen counter holding stacks of unopened mail, empty takeout bags from meals ordered in when your energy was too low to cook a meal? Is the garbage can overflowing from when you were too tired to take the trash out?

It's easy to get caught up in the depths of grief and lose sight of some of the day to day things in life. A sink full of dishes, a dryer full of wrinkled clothes, a counter full of misplaced clutter, a toilet paper roll left unchanged, and so much more are all things that take mental energy to keep track of or follow through to balance and keep up with.

If you're finding yourself in this space, where you're a bit less organized or a bit more scattered than normal, give yourself grace. You may not realize how much this is adding to your stress levels and amping up your already heightened feelings.

Tips to Get Tidier

Taking five minutes, or whatever you have energy for, and tackling some of what feels out of place or chaotic can shift the feeling of the room or the household. Put on your favorite song or a podcast, set a timer or a goal, and do what you can. Even if you start small and just collect all the garbage, you might be surprised how much better the space feels. Use your favorite cleaning products, add an air purifier or diffuser, and focus on the areas that feel more manageable or impactful. You may find yourself more energized afterwards, and ready to take on another room or another task in that room.

Starting small, adding music, set a timer to encourage progress in a short time, and enlisting the help of others can be key to moving forward with the motivation that is needed. Calling a friend or family member to help and share the workload can make the task more enjoyable and accomplishable.

Cleaning in Grief

Allow time to process. In your cleaning or tidying venture, you may come across mail or items that trigger a memory or refuel your reality of grief. It's okay to take a pause, address those feelings, and pick up cleaning gain when you're ready. If you find a memento that resonates with your healing, hold onto that as you clean and consider how you might use that to honor your loved one. Perhaps you clean out a drawer and find concert tickets from a show you saw with you loved one. After cleaning, you'll have a fresh spot to place this newfound item to remember them. Similarly, once you have a tidier space, you may reveal new space to add pictures of your loved one to incorporate them more into the space you spend your time in.

As you motivate yourself through this trying time, remember to take it at a pace that feels comfortable to you. Call on your friends, rely on music, and take it bit by bit to manage the energy level or needs that come with the task. As you continue, remember your grief is not forgotten here.

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