Changing Emotions

Grief is often shown as a even, balanced experience filled with mourning and sadness until it's "over". In reality, grief is a winding path filled with ups and downs and changing emotions where you could be crying one minute and laughing the next. Emotions can change without notice, leaving us confused as the range of emotions as we flip flop between them.

It's important to remember that the changing in emotions and going back and forth in your feelings is completely normal in grief. While it can feel exhausting, sometimes debilitating, and overwhelming, our feelings don't always follow a linear path.

Grief can bring all kinds of feelings - numbness, anger, frustration, sadness, moments of relief and peacefulness, and disbelief - sometimes all within one day.

It can be something as simple as looking at a picture of your loved one, smiling fondly on the memory that comes with the picture, and suddenly you're enveloped in tears and sadness, longing for just a few more minutes with your person. That rapid change is not weakness or giving up, but rather all part of the natural grief process.

This is something I have experienced myself, and something you might have experienced as well. It could be a simple thing, like hearing their favorite song. At first you may catch yourself singing along, and quickly get swept into the sadness and longing in grief as you realize they aren't singing along with you.

If our feelings were like the sun and clouds, it can change in an instant. Like the sun tucked behind a cloud, you might not be too sure when the calm, peaceful you may become clouded in anger, sadness, and longing. Our emotions can feel as unpredictable as the weather, changing the day to day activities we are able to prepare for.

Perhaps you've received exciting news, and you're celebrating until you pick up the phone to call them and share the news, and realize they aren't able to answer your call.

Maybe you've been having a horrible day, reread a text from them and feel a bit better, and get thrown back into the sadness of their absence, all within a few seconds or minutes.

Perhaps most importantly, it's crucial to let yourself feel the feelings that come up. It often feels easier to put on a mask or hide behind a wall of what society "thinks" your grief should look like. The reality is that grief is unique to each of us, and will look differently for everyone. There are days that are going to be completely overwhelming, filled with a handful of emotions all at once. It's completely natural, all on the path towards healing.

With time, the intensity of the mood swings may lessen, and there may be days it flares up more than you were prepared for. Give yourself grace, and allow space for whatever feelings come your way. The nature of grief and loss is unpredictable, and will require some flexibility in how you treat yourself to feel as comfortable as you can. However you're handling this or feeling today, your grief is not forgotten.

Read More About Forget Me Not Notes