Carry it Forward

As we get closer to the holidays, chances are there are plenty of reminders of your loved one. Their favorite holiday scent might be wafting through the air as a candle burns on the counter, their favorite song or movie playing in the background, or matching pajamas or ugly sweater events that bring a twinge of grief with them.

This may present a host painful memories, flashbacks to holidays that felt fuller, warmer, lighter. This can also offer an opportunity to explore - what aspects of them do I want to carry forward — their traditions, values, kindness, humor, generosity?

Maybe they donated extra food to the local pantry nearing the end of each year, gifted money to a specific organization, spent their hours volunteering for a cause they loved. Maybe they played a trick or told a joke each year that could be honored. Maybe they always baked cookies to bring to events, and you have the recipe to carry it on in their memory. Maybe you don't have a go to answer, but can tailor a new tradition or event to match their personality or interests.

This probably won't be a cookie cutter answer. It may change year to year. Or, you may know exactly what you're going to add to your traditions to bring their memories to the forefront when you're ready.

However you proceed and choose to honor them, through traditions, values, kindness, etc., carry it forward with love. Give yourself grace. It doesn't need to be exact or perfect, but rather focused on being rooted in love and remembrance.

You, your loved one, and your grief are not forgotten this season.

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