Introduction
As the holidays are getting closer and the dates on the calendar are becoming more real, your feelings of grief might be growing stronger. The holidays can be particularly challenging to accept this year, as you realize and recognize that the person you've lost won't be there to celebrate with you. While it can be incredibly difficult, it is really important to acknowledge the feelings of loss that come during such a festive time. Though we might try to handle our feelings ourselves, there might be a time to seek professional help.
Understanding Grief During the Holidays
Grief, though always present, can often flair up in the face of the holidays. A time that is usually shared with loved ones and full tables of friends and family can feel lonely and empty when one is gone. The same is true with the societal norms and expectations of the festivities. Normally a time of joy, laughter, celebration, and fun, the holidays are expected to be a happy experience. Someone who has not experienced a loss close to them might have a very difficult time understanding your feelings and position this year. Seeing joy around you might trigger those feelings of grief, if comparison sneaks in and we realize what we are missing.
Signs That You Might Need Professional Help
It may feel difficult to determine when is the right time to turn to professional help. The good new is, seeking professional help is always an option, whether your feelings are big or small. Even if you don't think you need professional help right now, it can be a great tool to add to your coping tool box! Other signs to look for would include persistent isolation and sadness. If you are withdrawing from family and friends, having heightened difficulty coping with holiday traditions, or notice a decreased level of daily functioning. What does this look like?
Disruption of sleeping, a change in appetite (more or less or inability to eat), lack of self care, or extended bouts of crying.
Types of Professional Help Available
Finding the right professional can be the biggest step in getting help. Identifying which feels right to you can shape the entire experience. Options might vary by availability in your area, but could include individual therapy, support groups, GriefShare events, group counseling, in person options, online resources, crisis hotlines, and more. Being able to connect with others who have similar experiences can provide a sense of understanding and support that you might not be experiencing in your immediate circle of family and friends.
How to Start the Conversation
Making the initial contact can be an intimidating part of the process, and make it difficult to take the first step. Often, a therapist providing individual therapy might offer a 10 minute phone consultation to be able to get more insight into what topics you're looking to cover in therapy. If you're unable to have a consult on the phone, some may be able to use email. Asking questions, telling them that you're looking for help with grief and loss, and learning how you will both work together. Before your first appointment, you might find it helpful to keep a journal or some type of feelings log to track how you've been doing before starting.
Conclusion: Seeking help for grief during the holidays
The holidays can be a fun time for many, but can also be a challenging time in the dark days of grief. Seeking help for grief during the holidays can be a helpful resource to make it through the toughest days. Small steps like asking for help can make big progress in your healing journey. Remember, it's okay to feel sad and to ask for help, especially during the heightened emotions of the holidays.
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