Grieving can be isolating, and often we turn to our homes for an escape from the hustle and bustle of the busy world around us as we retreat to safety while we process. But, how long can we stay home? It depends on each person and their grief journey. Here are a few things to consider.
During the grieving process, it is common to lose interest in hobbies or activities. You might find it overwhelming, noticing yourself more anxious, or feeling withdrawn. While it is okay to cancel plans, adapt plans to meet your current needs, or say no to making future plans, it is imperative to find ways to continue to engage. This can look a variety of different ways for each individual, whether it means staying home or leaving events early. Through stepping back from activities and spending more at home, you might find yourself more lonely or isolated. It is important to ensure you have outlets for companionship and opportunities, even if just stepping outside for a little while.
Perhaps you have found yourself more fatigued, quickly exhausted by socializing, or even irritated or annoyed when participating in activities that you once enjoyed. Tweaking your routine to fit your need normal can be very beneficial to continuing your lifestyle in a comfortable manner. Adding in mindful breathing or grounding exercises can be helpful tools to ensure we feel safe while venturing out of the house or exploring new places when managing grief.
This could include small steps, from going to a park or a quiet spot in nature, walking around the block, or stepping out to get coffee or lunch with a trusted friend, or taking a pet for a walk. Creating space – even if just a few minutes – away from grief can offer a much needed distraction, and allow you to feel a bit of control over your own life again.
It’s important to remember that grief has no timeline, and there is no wrong way to grieve. While trying to find a routine that works for you and allows you to have time out of the house, it is okay to start with small steps. Opening a window for fresh air, taking a walk to the mailbox to open your Forget Me Not Notes cards, or enjoying a coffee on a porch or patio are all great options to start small. Once you have found comfort in these spaces, you can branch out into bigger spaces and allow for new perspective. You may find yourself noticing things you may have previously missed – a passing butterfly, a smile from a stranger, or a new hope.
Getting out of the house doesn’t mean forgetting your pain, but rather gently moving forward, even if you’re taking small steps. Healing is not linear and will take time as you work to find a new peace and resilience.
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